Marriage is a tricky thing. It doesn’t really matter who you are or what your background or religion is, marriage is challenging. In some cultures, it’s all about men retaining dominance. In other cultures, men have become so feminized that they just let their wives dominate them. But a true marriage is of equal partners. I’m going to write strictly from a Christian perspective in this article because that’s what I know and trust to be true. Marriage – Equal Partners. But there are opposing views.
Marriage – Equal Partners
Ephesians 5:21-23
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
I believe that most people, even Christians don’t truly understand this passage from Ephesians. Not because it’s not understandable, but because they fail to view it in accordance with the full counsel of God – the whole Bible. Their scope is too narrow and they also often take it out of context.
God Created Them Man and Woman
If you look at it from the perspective of all of scripture, starting from the beginning. You see that God created both man and woman. Therefore, they were special creations of God. Adam did not create Eve, God did. God created them, so they are equal in the sight of God. Both are his creation, but he assigned them specific tasks. Hence, Adam’s job was to tend the garden of Eden and name all of the animals. “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” The NASB renders the last half of this verse. “but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:20
Each Partner has Different but Overlapping Tasks
While Adam’s task from God was to tend the garden, Eve’s job was to help him in this and his every endeavor. Again, as equals, but with different tasks assigned by God. So, after God created woman from the man, “…Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:23-24
Pulling Together Towards a Common Goal
This passage doesn’t just mean they had sex, as some have interpreted. It’s much more than that. This was the first marriage, and clearly, the two also become one as they pull together toward a common goal. The goal could be producing children or tending a garden, but the key is that they collaborate and determine the goal as equals. Without regard to the specific goal. They always communicate and pull together. Similar to a team of horses. They are equally yoked together. But one leads and they both pull as a team in accordance with their master’s will. Consequently, in the case of humans, the Master is God.
People Make Mistakes
People are sinful, errant, and fallible. This includes women that try to usurp authority from the rightful head of the household. They think their will is more important than God’s will and his original instructions. Women are a creation meant to obey God first and then help their husbands as he leads the family. Men also make a similar error. Men feel that they have a right to dominate their wives in accordance with verse 22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” What they fail to do is read the verses in context and also to reconcile the verses with the rest of scripture. We are to submit ourselves to each other in reverence to God’s will, not our own. Also, women are to submit only to their own husbands. They are not to submit to men in general.
We Are to Submit to God’s Will
Husbands and wives are equals in the eyes of God, but with different roles to play in the family and also within the kingdom of God. You can only understand this completely if you have read and understood the entire Bible. And you have also come to the realization that you are not God and you need to give up control and accept God’s will. Cast off your foolish pride and do what God intends for you to do, as well as, in accordance with His perfect will. Marriage is about Equal Partners.
Also see: Colossians 3:17-19
Sit down with a nice cup of coffee and discuss your family goals. Then pull together to accomplish your goals as God intended, as equal partners.
